Hey Olin. 'Sup. So, uh, you didn't want to come over to my place so I just came over here or whatever. Sorry, I just got back from the Outlander, so I'm a little messed up, but I just - I just wanted to talk to you. Tru's been avoiding me lately for some reason or whatever, but, I just, I thought we could study or something.Siri said you had like some special project you were working on. What's up with that?
OLIN! Where are you?? I've been trying to reach you for, like, ever. Come over. I want to talk to you.
Where have you been? I've been trying to... study... with you for, like, months now and you're totally ignoring me. Siri says you're working on a "special project", but I didn't think wacking it incessantly should count as a "special project." Come on, what gives? We could... go to your place?
( What the kriff.Collapse )Skywalker! You SAID you deleted it! Why am I still getting these ... these vile come-ons?
Soooo, the Outlander is under new management. It's, well, it's pretty cool. I just got back, and don't tell Obi-W... Master, Master Kenobi, but, I snuck back in and I had a lot of fun. I haven't gone out in a realllly long time so it was pretty cool to just, you know, just go out. Ziro put cages in the Outlander. He said I should get in one, so I did, and I danced and people bought me drinks and stuff and gave me money and it was totally wizard. I made about 200 credits so I'm thinking I'm going back really soon, since it was pretty much free in the end plus I made some, plus I didn't have to pay for any of my drinks or deathsticks. Yay for the Outlander!
what a scrumptious place this is! just look at y'all with your little pictures and feelings and such.i've been talkin' to a nice young man called watto, who says i can drum up some interest in my new nightclub here. well, technically, the outlander was there already, but i've taken over the management and made some ... improvements, shall we say. (i got such a delicious deal for it, too - all it cost me was someone else's head! hee!) new go-go cages have been installed for ambiance. and naturally, what good are cages without dancers to go in them? private auditions are by special request, of course.come on down, my sweeties! uncle ziro wants to know you!
Hey guys. It's the holiday season here at the Jedi Temple, which means everyone is out partying it up. Even Oafy, whose idea of "partying" is letting Skywalker run around all unsupervised and getting tanked quietly by himself. It's a holiday tradition, practically! Anyway, I find it all really irritating because nobody's letting me do squat. So I tell this to the mind healer I'm supposed to be seeing, or whatever, I tell her that I'm kind of pissed because everyone's all like "Garen, you shouldn't drink or blahblahblah" but then they turn around and do the exact same thing they're telling ME not to do, and it's totally stupid. So she's all like "well, why don't you write a letter to your addiction?" and I'm like, LOL, that's retarded. And then she told me not to say "retarded" and made me do it anyway. So anyway.
Dear Addiction,I miss you. I didn't think you were all that bad, really. My friends just don't understand the bond we shared, even though I can name about five of them who seem to know you pretty well too, like Oafy, who I know is getting plastered on mulled wine right this very second. Or Skywalker, who I just saw stumble by my quarters shirtless. Or Tachi, who keeps winning pole-dancing contests she doesn't remember entering. Or.... or... half the damn Order, practically. Addiction, you slut.I'm sorry, that's hardly being fair. We've had some really good times together. Remember when we made sink stew and then that Liam kid ate it? Or when we went to that Anti-Gungan rally and then Oafy had to bail us out of jail? Or, or, or, that one time we had sex with Oafy? That was awesome. See, we had a lot of fun together. But you also got me in a lot of trouble. You made things come out of orifices those things shouldn't have, and you made me put things in orifices that didn't need things put in them. I guess you could be kind of a dick to my other friends, too, especially Oafy, who doesn't really need us torturing him, since his life sucks enough as it is. I don't know, Addiction. I want you back, but you come with a lot of baggage. Maybe you need to take some time and get your shit together before you come back. It's not me, Addiction, it's you. Sorry.Love, Garen
This meeting of the Coruscant Cat Lovers' Book Club & Sewing Circle has commenced. Announcements for the evening: Master Windu, I still haven't seen your dues. Have you not received my collection notices? If there is anywhere more convenient for you to have them delivered besides your personal quarters, the Council chambers, and via a 'bantha-o-gram' - Master Yoda's suggestion - then please DO let me know.In addition, the candy dish in the reception area IS for guests, but if I continue to find the wrappers and/or bits of chewed sweets littering the Archives, the privilege can and will be taken away. I will not name names, but rest assured that I will be speaking to some specific Padawans' Masters. Is there any new business? Anything to share? Please take time to acknowledge the needlepoint that Padawan Thel-Tanis has graced us with when you have a moment!
So, hey guys. It's been a while since I've been on these here holonets, because I've been very busy being a good little Jedi and going to my meetings and appointments and being bored out of my skull, basically. Also, my main counselor is this awful Togruta chick who obviously has never even so much as seen a beer in her entire life and whose main focus seems to be giving me a hard time. Yeah, I still drive my speeder! I need to get places! I'm not taking public transports - they smell like pee. Nobody's taken Skywalker's op license away, why should I have mine taken away? It's not fair, so I'm not giving it up. I'm a Jedi. I need to get places. She says my attitude is nonconducive to recovery. Um, sorry, but I actually have been doing what I'm supposed to be doing, even if it's just to get all of you jerks off my back, and then she turns around and tells me how I'm all, like, defensive and angry and shit. Whatever, of course I am! I fucking hate that place with the passion of a billion suns - and you can go right ahead and report THAT to the Council, miss I've Got Head-Tails-So-That-Makes-Me-Better. What the fuck ever. You owe me for this, Oafy. You really, really do. I'm not sure how much more I can take. Every day I get hounded and berated and bitched at. If I wanted that, I would have just kept doing what I was doing and taken it from you assholes and the Council. A "hey, way to go, Garen" every so often wouldn't be remiss, I don't think. So anyway, in conclusion: fuck rehab, fuck Oafy, and fuck Togrutas.Oh, and Gungans, too.
Skywalker, why do I just know you had everything to do with this? I'm getting horrid Holonet messages with pictures of male genitalia and lewd descriptions that I'm not even going to repeat because they're so disgusting. Don't you have anything better to do?(Tru, I have to say, I'm especially disappointed that you were involved in getting this set up. Just, I thought you were a little more mature than Anakin. Maybe think the next time he tells you to jump off a cliff.)That's all. Olin, out.